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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777045">Interior Design</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/redredred/pseuds/redredred'>redredred</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Gen, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Screenplay/Script Format</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:02:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>908</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/redredred/pseuds/redredred</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Martin tries his best. Jon is exasperated. Tim does damage control.</p><p>My entry for the TMA fluff competition!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Fluff Archives</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Interior Design</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is very silly but it was fun to write. I, uh, took a bit of creative liberty with Martin's fondness for retro aesthetic. I'm very much looking forward to hearing the rest of the winning entries! (Especially after Epiphany made me lose my entire mind.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <strong>ARCHIVIST<br/>
<br/>
</strong>
</p><p class="western">Good mor—oh good lord. [pause] What are all these—plants?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN</strong>
</p><p class="western">Oh, morning, Jon.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST</strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Er, good morning. Do you know anything about this?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN</strong>
</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yeah, I actually, um, did some research, and these are all supposed to be insect repelling plants.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST</strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
I…see.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN</strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
See, these are chrysanthemums, and—I think these purple ones were called alliums? And these tall ones are pitcher plants, and they actually <em>eat</em> bugs. So, you know, I thought it might help out with our—infestation.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[pause] Right. That’s—well. It’s good you’re being proactive, I suppose.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
I mean, I am <em>living</em> here, so. Plus we’re going through fire extinguishers like <em>crazy</em> . And it can’t <em> hurt</em>, at least. [pause] Er. Right? I hope.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
These aren’t exactly normal insects we’re dealing with. [pause] But probably not. And it certainly livens the place up a bit.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Yeah? I—I was thinking the same thing, actually. Kinda gives off more of a cozy atmosphere.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Just don’t get <em>too</em> cozy and forget you’re at work. I’d rather not have you walking around without your trousers again.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
That—that was <em>one </em>time!</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Yes, and let’s keep it that way. [pause] Anyway, is Elias okay with all this?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
O-oh, yeah, and he actually helped me get the expense covered. Since it is technically work-related and all. Plus, he even approved some of my other redecoration ideas.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">…<em>Other</em> ideas? And what might those be?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
I think it would be more fun if you found out for yourself, actually.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><em><br/>
Martin</em>…</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Oh, it’s nothing bad. Just—you know, since everyone’s been under so much stress lately…we could do with a bit more cheerfulness, couldn’t we?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[sighs] You’re not wrong, I suppose.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
See, I thought so! Anyway, I was about to make some tea, so let me know what you think once you see your office.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
…Right. I’ll do that.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Excellent! I’ll see you in a few, then.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[long pause while Martin leaves]…Now I’m worried.</p><p class="western"><br/>
[door to ARCHIVIST’S office opens]</p><p class="western"><br/>
[a low, pained groan resounds]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
…I am at a loss for words.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Now, that’s a first, huh?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[heated sputtering] Did—did <em>you</em> put him up to this?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[scoff] Nah, I think I would have gone for something a little more subtle. Like putting glue on the buttons of that recorder of yours. Hey, something to think of for next April fool’s, huh?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <strong> ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[pained groan]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
But this was <em>all</em> Martin. [snicker] The worst part is, I think he thought you’d actually <em>like</em> it.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
That is—a lava lamp. Sitting on my desk.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Yep. Sure looks like it.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
And—and, that—is a poster of a cat holding onto a piece of rope with the caption [said with barely concealed disdain] “hang in there”.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
You know, I didn’t actually think those existed. Funny, that.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western">
  <em><br/>
He replaced my chair with a beanbag.</em>
</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Your old one did look awfully worn down.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[more sputtering] He has—desecrated this work space!</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Oh, come on, it’s not <em>that</em> bad. [pause] Mostly.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[grumble of disagreement]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
No, really, it’s kind of, uh…charming? In its own way. Once you get used to it. Plus, you know, I think he did have actually good intentions. So go easy on him, yeah?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
And tea’s ready!</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[sharp intake of breath]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[pointed silence]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
So how do you like—oh. Um.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
TIM </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Oh, my, I just remembered, I have a conveniently-timed thing I needed to be doing right now, so I’ll just—get going. [whispers as he passes by] Sorry, Martin.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Wait, Tim, don’t—and he’s gone. [nervous chuckle] Look, I know, it’s probably a <em>bit</em> much, and—and I should have asked you first—</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[sigh] Martin.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
—but you’ve seemed so tired and stressed out lately, and I wanted to surprise you with something nice, but <em>of course</em> I had to go and mess it up and I’m so sorry, I’ll take all of it out right—<br/>
<br/>
</p><p class="western">
  <strong> ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western">
  <em><br/>
Martin.</em>
</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
—away—er. Yes?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[weary sigh] …Thank you.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Oh. Er. Um. You’re…welcome? So you—don’t hate it?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[long pause] …I appreciate the effort.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[sigh of relief] Oh, thank goodness. For a moment, I thought you hated it.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
…Mmh.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Like, <em>really</em> hated it. [nervous chuckle]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Yes, well, it’s—something of an <em>acquired taste</em>, but I can tell you put thought into it, and—I…thank you.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Y-yeah, of course. [pause] Oh! I nearly forgot about the tea. Here you go.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
[reading the mug] “World’s best boss”. Hmm. That’s quite the claim to make.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
It’s not, er, literal? Not—not that you’re not a good boss or anything, but—it’s more in, like, a metaphorical sense? Kinda?</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
A metaphorical world’s best boss.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
…Yeah.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
…I’ll take it. Thank you again, Martin.</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
MARTIN </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Yeah, ah, not a problem. Well, I should probably, er, get back to work, so—[sound of door opening, then closing]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST </strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Hmm. [patting on the beanbag, then sits down] This is—actually somewhat comfortable. I could—possibly get used to this. [rifling through files on his desk] Well. Let’s give it a try. Statement of Leandra Davidson, regarding a possible sighting of—AUGH! [sound of Archivist losing balance and falling onto the floor]</p><p class="western">
  <strong><br/>
ARCHIVIST</strong>
</p><p class="western"><br/>
Shi—[recorder clicks off]</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!!</p><p>You can find me on:<br/>tumblr @ <a href="https://simsblackwood.tumblr.com/">simsblackwood</a> (TMA sideblog)<br/>twitter @ <a href="https://twitter.com/grantuseyes">grantuseyes</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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